Survivors guilt

Survivors guilt


I just watched the end of a documentary on the USS Arizona.  For those of you who don’t know, it was sunk at Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941 killing 1135 men.  I don’t want to talk about WW2 or the death of military people.  I want to talk about these very old men who survived that day.  I just watched as this tiny, frail old man spoke of his shame at having survived.  Of how when he dies he wants to join his shipmates and have his ashes spread at the memorial.  Think about that for a bit.  This man has lived his whole life, loved a woman, raised a family worked through to retirement and seen his grandchildren be born.  Through all of these 65 years he has carried the guilt of surviving his friends.  It must be a bit like being a sober drunk.  While it may not always be at the front of your mind it also never leaves.  It is a hell of a thing to live through something that you know you shouldn’t.  I can only imagine how much worse it is to lose so many friends at the same time.  The human mind/emotion is a hell of a thing.