Life can be cruel all on its own

Life can be cruel all on its own.


But apparently I help make it that way for some.  I have been seeing Meghan for the last month and it has been really fun.  She is very intelligent and attractive and many, many other great things.  I care about her a great deal.  The problem comes from the realization that I wasn’t over Kate.  I really thought I was but that just wasn’t the case.  I had started to realize this just over a week ago but decided to stay and hope that it would work itself out.  Then a whole lot of garbage happened with work and some other personal bits that stressed me out pretty good.  That was all a bit much to handle for me then…Kate came back.  I had a ton of emotions that just overwhelmed me about that.  I had no idea what to think or do about it.  The whole thing was so much that it made me physically ill.  At the end of it the only decision I could make was to try again with Kate.  The connection I feel with her is something that I can’t really describe.  It is a thing that I HAVE to follow.  That means that I had to end things with Meghan.  I had to hurt a woman who cares about me and whom I care about.  I really hated doing that.  Today I feel like a complete bastard.  I should feel badly as I had to do something unkind to a good person but shit.  Yeah I know stop whining.  I am not the wronged one here.  Fate just took a really good woman and put her in a situation that sucks.  

The other side of this is Kate is back.  I am scared and terrifically happy about that.  What will happen?  Hell if I know.  Check back periodically to learn more.

Later,
Sam